Everyday, when I look at my baby girl, several things come to my mind, which I wish I could tell her. I could say those out loud, but they wouldn't mean anything but a babble to her :) So, I thought of penning them down not just for her, but as a memory of these wonderful times for me.
1. Thanks for bringing this beautiful title of 'Mom' to me - There wouldn't be a me, without a you! I wouldn't have enjoyed all these precious moments without you to make them so treasure-worthy. On a side note, thanks for helping me see this new and unexplored side to your father; his personality just changes once you are with him :)
2. 'I love you' is just not enough of a phrase to describe the way I feel about you, the way you make me feel when I have you in my arms. I feel tired, but happy all the time; I can't wait for you to sleep so I can get some sleep, but all I do is soak in your innocence as you sleep; I keep saying that I want some time for my self, but all I do in that time is to go through your pictures and videos. Someday, maybe you could come up with a word that would suffice these feelings!
3. I grow with you - It's not just you who is achieving milestones; every day you grow, you teach me a new lesson too. A lesson in patience, a lesson in compassion, a lesson about perseverance (when you keep standing up just to fall the next minute, but stand again the very next second).
4. The way you make me feel - When you look up at me with those big, black eyes, and focus with undivided attention, just to break into a smile after you realize it's your mom, I feel like there is nothing else that matters in this world. You make me feel wanted and loved all at the same time!
5. I need you as much as you need me -You are my source of happiness and pride. I find my pleasure in your little achievements, and I need you, to feel grounded, when I lose sight of what life is about. You make me enjoy the present and not worry about the future.
6. I absolutely love that you have a personality of your own - Who knew such tiny lives could have their own wills and desires. You have your own way of enjoying your time, I just can't make you do anything. (I hope even in the future, I can let you be you, and don't stifle you with stereotypes). If you don't want to play with toys, and just want to sit on the floor singing your heart out, you do that! I love that everyday is a new challenge for you and you love making your days colorful with new activities everyday. One day you just sit there clapping your hands in happiness, and on other days, you want to jump up and down like there is no stopping you; no matter what, you are just full of smiles and energy.
7. I just don't like sharing you - Even if it is just with your father!!! I had you just to me, for a long time, so it bothers me sometimes to have so many people to vie for your attention! And I know this is just the beginning; you are going to have a mind of your own and an independent life, with lots of people I would have to share you with. But that's okay; that is why I am trying to make the most of this 'Just you and me' time :)
8. Nobody told me doing laundry could be so exciting - As much of a chore it is, I enjoy doing your laundry and folding up those tiny booties, adorable little onesies that say cute things like 'Mommy and me', 'Cute as a button', and the likes. It just reminds me how tiny you are and takes me to a happy place with unicorns and butterflies.
P.S. Of course, there are those laundry loads after a diaper leak, that I just want to put off ;)
9. Since we are on the topic of clothes,I need to tell you how much it breaks my heart, every time you grow out of a pair of shoes or your sleep suits. It keeps reminding me that soon you won't fit in my arms and that is a very scary thought.
10. I am new at this and I make mistakes, but you still come to me for comfort - It is just so endearing that even though I might not understand your baby language all the time, even though I make mistakes understanding your needs; you come back to me with all your love and trust. All I can think of then, is that we are in for a long journey together and I might make lots of mistakes; but I hope you will always trust in me and never forget that I am your biggest cheerleader; everything I do comes from my love for you.
11. You have brought us so many gifts; the gift of hope, the gift of love, the gift of space (our new home), the gift of family and friends and most important, the gift of such a bubbly package of joy as you! I only hope that we can count our blessings and make you as happy as you make us!
12. And finally, my heart sinks to even think about it, but I know it's inevitable. There are going to be times of heartbreak, disappointments and failure; and I cannot prevent that from happening. All I want you to know is that I will always be there for you to fall back on. I would give anything to protect you from all the darkness, but if I cannot, I will be there to show you the light!
P.S. All pictures are copyright of Amruta Marwah. Any reuse, duplication or reproduction of these pictures will be a violation of the copyright law.