Monday, April 30, 2012

What lies ahead!!!

Dear Amu,

How are you? I am sure it feels wonderful to be 20. You are driving, you are old enough to have unsupervised slumber parties, you are one step closer to becoming independent and start working. The world is your oyster. I remember what it felt like, to be at that exuberant age. It feels like it wasn't a very long time ago, yet so much has passed since that beautiful time of my life. And as philosophical books would say I am supposed to, I suppose I have gained some worldly experience. As your well-wisher, I am expected to share some of this wisdom with you and that to me, is a daunting task. Well, here it comes, and I promise I will try to give my best and hopefully not sound naive and be age appropriate. But, just in case I falter, I am not a lot older than you (it just feels nice to say that :)

So, where do I start? What I didn't realize when I was 20 was the importance of family ties and the impact it can have on your life, in terms of shaping you as an individual. I was so caught up with my friends, the TV "FRIENDS", and chat friends, I didn't realize there was a world away from them. I also didn't notice that my room was gradually becoming my world, with posters all over (not of actors, but with loads of quotes on them; it felt cool to make your opinions heard and read, in this case) and music playing all the time. My parents, especially my mother would not be very inclined those days, to come and talk to me; of course, how I could talk to anyone with constant music is still a question mark for me. So, I would say, get out of your room more, breathe the fresh air, talk to people in front of you, rather than people on the phone or internet and yes, it is okay to miss one episode of FRIENDS! Preposterous as it may sound, you won't believe the number of times you will be watching those reruns in your life to come. 

When I talk about family, I naturally have to talk about my sister. Oh yes, the sister that I fought with almost every day for one thing or the other. Some days, it was for phone time, other days for borrowing clothes or sandals or some insignificant thing, and mostly for the remote. I could not have been a meaner and jealous sister than I was to her then. But, what was I to do? I did not know what true love was, I did not know why she had to spend every waking hour of her day talking to her fiance and I did not know about the bliss you are in, during courtship. I thought all that was so silly and would keep telling her that I would never indulge in such childish talk (Oh, the irony!). Now, all these years later, I can only say, appreciate your big sister because you get your fashion sense from her, even though you would never admit to copying her style. Be glad that you had someone to share gossip details about every little thing under the sky. Enjoy your time with her, and do accept that her advice does help sometimes, okay most of the times! And most of all, just be grateful that you have an older sister who guided you through everything rather than an older brother who would have made life difficult.

Since I have established the fact that family is the most important asset in the long run, the importance of friends cannot be undermined. Although, school friends are supposed to last the longest, college friends are the ones you make most fun and wild memories with. There is never going to be a time like college ever again in your life. On this front, I don't have much advice to give you, because you already are 'living the life'; you don't miss on even one day of playing pranks, bunking classes, jumping around the Throw Ball court, and passing chits in class. So, for all those wonderful memories you made with your friends: Atta Girl, you won't regret them later. One thing though, a little less fights over insecurities and who is closest to whom, is something you could do without. It doesn't matter later, who was your best friend, what matters is that all of you shared a common history and that you can still bond over that. Oh yes, almost forgot, and those diaries you are maintaining, getting all your friends to write in them: Brilliant Idea. So many days of doom and they still don't fail to put a smile on my face.

Hmmm...What else? Ooooooh...the juicy part! Like I said before, I was jealous of my sister being sucked up by love, because I was losing my time with her, and I had never thought I would do such a horrid thing to my family! Be very careful, of what you claim, is the only thing I can say. And that childhood friend of yours, you insist is a very good friend, but not what you are looking for, be careful again! When you are 20, you have these crazy ideas and obnoxious ideals that you expect a prospective partner to fulfill. Take my word, a man who thinks about social upliftment all the time does not have enough time for you. And a man, who is poetic and in the romantic era, finds it very difficult to separate reality from theatrics. You just need someone you can spend great time with, and talk lots to. So, give real people a chance and that shy little chemistry lab partner of yours, I would say, keep an eye out for him!

This letter would be so incomplete if I didn't talk about the serious stuff: career, education. If my parents were to read this letter, even though it is retrospective, they would be shocked at the absence of crucial matters. I was so confused, and am not ashamed to say, that I still am, a little bit, as to what I want to do for a living. I wanted to be so many different things in different periods of my student life, that I could actually have managed to try out each profession, if given the chance. But, there was one thing I was most passionate about and did not want to budge from it. I ended up not getting an education in that, since it was not supposed to be a very stable career. My parents helped me chose a field that would interest me and give me better prospects.  I was angry to not be able to follow my dream. My advice for you: Don't be (angry)! You just know half the picture of any profession at that age. It is anyways, a gamble, but chances are people with more experience are better off at it, than you are. So, take your parent's advice and if something really is your calling, you will find a way to get there, no matter what your qualifications.

I am hoping this letter hasn't put you to sleep or bored you enough to get distracted into texting. Because I remember how it was like to be rebellious and not want so many suggestions thrown at you! Believe me, been there, done that (not to sound too snotty, and yes the pun is intended)! 

Love,
Your much older, supposedly mature and sensible self!

12 comments:

  1. An interesting retrospective way of looking back at yourself. You have touched upon some important aspects which I liked. I am sure we are much more sensible and mature than our 20 year old self. Loved reading it. :)

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    1. Thanks Akshay... We can only hope that we get more sensible with every passing year :)

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  2. OMG! Loved it! It was almost like the letter of my life, except for the older sister bit - because in my case I am and I wasn't courting anyone when I was 20! :) But yeah so so true about the friends and family bit. Now more than before, there's more importance to internet friends and chat friends and such. Real friendship hangouts and catchups have gone for a toss. Family also seems to be taken for granted a lot of times! Losing the connection somewhere along the way to becoming independent! Thoroughly enjoyed the bit about social upliftment and theatrics. LOL! So true, at that age, what dreams and expectations we have for a partner! At the end of the day, all we need is a normal sane guy who can tolerate us and be there for us, respect us as an individual and expect the same from us! So true! So what did you really want to do then? Oh, BTW, am on Season 8 right now! :)

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    1. Haha... I guess most of us would agree to some or the other part. Being 20 is like being in a different world altogether! And, I don't even know which season I am on... stopped keeping track when watched those episodes for the 100th time :)

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  3. I guess Friends rule all teenagers' lives ! Same regrets of not spending enough time at home .. home was like lodging and boarding ... you go home to eat and sleep :-) ... at that age I thought people older would have more sense of direction and a firm understanding of life ... a decade later we are still the same .... a lil confused and muggy about what we want from life and where we want to take our career ... nice post overall !

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    1. Thanks Sonali! Even while writing the last line, I wasn't sure if I should say that I am more mature now. I But, the way I look at it, there are always older people you can look up to and console yourself, saying that you will be mature at that age :)
      P.S. Which Friends were you talking about, real or sitcom :)

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  4. Lovely post, Amruta!
    I loved the part of letting go of insecurities with friends. Seriously, we wasted so much time on silly fights and misunderstandings.

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    1. Thanks Swapna! I still can't imagine how could we have been so immature, but maybe it was those little fights that added the extra spice in those years :)

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  5. Lovely post. The fight to not miss an episode of FRIENDS, very true for me also and watched so many re-runs, can tell the dialouges by heart now.
    My older sis too would be over the phone half of the time and I was so jealous.

    --Seema

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    1. Thanks Seema...Ooh the common thread of FRIENDS :)
      And as for older sisters, only younger sisters can feel the pain of not knowing what your sister would talk for so many hours !

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  6. What do I say.. nothing but lovely words..the 20s are the most defining yet fun-filled years of our lives. You have nicely put what we all have gone through over all these years.. and now when we look back, it has been a worthwhile journey..
    and yes.. FRIENDS is still the best way to rewind those years..:)
    cheers

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    1. Thanks Ashish.... It is so nice to look back on those great times and cherish the great friendships forged over those years :) You for one, would know what I am talking about!

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