Ordinary men or Superheroes?

Exactly one year ago, I was traveling with my parents to New York, with a connecting flight from Atlanta. We had had a horrible start to the trip, with overnight delays and a detour to North Carolina, due to thunderstorms. So, we were nothing but relieved to reach Atlanta and get on track for New York. When we alighted from the flight and walked through our gate, it really did feel like an achievement to have finally reached half way through to our trip, after two long days. As soon as we started walking, we saw a big crowd at the terminal, loud cheering and clapping. And we were quite taken aback, to say the least. I mean all the passengers on board our flight had had a rough night, but how would have these other people known?One look back, and I realized what the applause was for. There was a big group of young soldiers, possibly returning from foreign postings, and here were complete strangers who were cheering for them. We could hear the words "Welcome Home", "Salute to you, Soldier", and "America is proud of you"! My father was quite surprised to see this and just said, "Why can't we honor our soldiers like them?".

Of course, we went on to have a long discussion over it, and we realized that even though Americans despise their country going at war, as much as Indians do, they do not lose appreciation for their countrymen. They do not undermine the fact that it is these young men and women, who did not chose to participate in war, but had to follow orders. People who chose to make a career in armed forces do so, to protect their country and fellow citizens, not to inflict atrocity on others. So, why is is that a country like India forgets a major war, like Kargil and its uncountable heroes? The war, like any other, was unnecessary and brought on by factors, best, not discussed here.

But, the fact remains that it is this militia that saved a lot of civilian lives from being targeted by the infiltrators. It is easy for people to debate over why wars happen, why can't we leave peacefully, etc. But, what is so difficult about remembering the sacrifices made by so many? For whatever reason, wars and violence are part of human nature. Then, it becomes equally important for people to value the handful who risk their lives, knowing well that one day they would be involved in something as complicated as war. The reason I say, it is complicated is because there are so many angles to killing the enemy, than just sending a bullet through another person. The question that always comes up in my mind is 'Can any training in the world actually prepare you to shoot another fellow human being?'. You can be trained to be strong, physically; possess endurance and skill, intelligence and alertness. But, can you actually be trained to be guilt-free and emotionless?

I have some friends in the armed forces, and I wish they never have to make that decision of whether to listen to their heart or follow their orders. I cannot even imagine what it must feel like to be faced with a combat, and actually having to use ammunition on a live person, for the first time. Because they are just like us, people who like pleasant things in life, who want to cherish the small joys and who want to be with their loved ones. They feel pain and pleasure the same way we do. Then how are they expected to transform from being movie buffs, cricket lovers and jolly personalities to protectors of the nation overnight? How are they expected to carry the burden of leading so many men, and protecting several others? Of course, they are trained and they know what they were getting into in the first place. But, can you actually prepare someone to walk away from their wounded buddy (as they are called in Army Lingo) and put the mission on a higher pedestal? How can you train their mind to be untouched by emotion and keep going? How can they find the courage to walk in the line of fire? How is it possible to keep your anger aside, forget the way your fellow soldiers were treated and yet, treat the enemy's fallen with respect? What are these men made of?

All these unsettling thoughts bother me every time I watch a war movie. The Kargil War was an important landmark in Indian history, and it was necessary for our generation to understand that freedom does come at a price. The ailment of Independent India is that people have taken their freedom for granted and refuse to hold responsibility for anything. This war was a good reminder that a few chose to put the country and the lives of others above their own. As grateful citizens, the least we can do is to remember the valor and sacrifices made by these men and their families. It also means, that we do our bit and contribute to our country's progress and improvement, in every way we can. It could mean picking up garbage from the streets, minimizing child abuse or promoting literacy. Because it is for the country's future that these soldiers defend it from enemies. If we cannot secure a decent future for the country, their effort to defend the country goes waste.

The Kargil War had a casualty figure of 527 Indian soldiers and that is a huge number for a senselessly instigated war. We have to realize that there were a lot of soldiers in their early twenties who were juxtaposed into the war scene, having just received their first posting. I am not sure if experience helps and prepares you for war, but definitely the rush of youth could blind you and could you catch you unawares. Since, this war was largely covered by the media, there were multiple stories of engagements being called off, marriage plans postponed, and what not. Whether it was fair to have personal details of these soldiers being discussed, is a debatable topic. But, what I think it did, was give a face and a name to the unknown soldier. The war cry devised by Capt. Vikram Batra, "Yeh Dil Maange More!" is etched in our memories forever. What happens is, everybody knows a war is being fought, they mourn for the martyrs and eventually forget about it. But when there is a name attached and a story to tell, there is a personal connection. It becomes easier to identify with the person and then it becomes a personal loss. It is important to sense that feeling, because then the war means much more and hits home. 

Since this war was a highly televised one, the public became aware of the sacrifices these men were making; some even having to call off their weddings. It became evident that these men were overcoming huge personal losses and yet, braving the enemy. I knew then, that it must be tough to survive the extreme cold, but only when  I moved to a place with temperatures of -50C, that I developed a new-found respect for these men. It is torturous even to stand outside, with the biting wind, leave alone, get into a hike. It is thanks to the electronic media, who familiarized the public with the treacherous terrain and the dizzying altitude. The daily updates also introduced us to the lives of these soldiers in the face of extreme conditions, be it the tight rationing of food supplies, the unbearable cold or the lack of entertainment. It was also the acknowledgement that at such times, small joys meant a lot, and receiving letters from complete strangers was definitely among them. 

It has been 13 years and a lot of people have forgotten these heroes and their families. We have to remember that putting up names on marble memorials is not enough. Every once in a while showing gratitude and honoring these soldiers is important. For us, 527 is just a number, but for the families, it is 527 brothers, sons, fathers, husbands lost. And that is not something they can forget. So, why should we? After all,we were saved the trouble of defending ourselves, because of their acts of courage. To all the Vikram Batras, Saurabh Kalias, Anuj Nayyars, Vijayant Thapars and many unnamed heroes, 'We remember you, we are proud of you, we salute you and we appreciate your efforts and we are here because of you'! And to all the countrymen, who have forgotten the Kargil War and its heroes, who remember the 1999 World Cup more than the War, here is a rude reminder; it is not Sachin Tendulkar, but these soldiers who won us the bigger battle. It was disheartening to know that when today's youth were interviewed on Vijay Diwas, they had no clue whatsoever, of these war heroes, but were well acquainted with cricketers, celebrities, etc. I have challenged myself to pay tribute to all war heroes on this Vijay Diwas and find out more about the 527 men who lost their lives protecting our beautiful country and no longer let them be 'The Unknown Soldier'. How will you pay tribute?

Some resources that helped me find more about the fallen heroes and the stark reality of war:

A soldier's diary - Harinder Baweja (at Amazon)

A soldier's diary - Harinder Baweja (at Goodreads)

Dateline Kargil - Gaurav Sawant (at Goodreads)

Dateline Kargil - Gaurav Sawant (at Amazon)

The capture of Point 4875 by Captain Vikram Batra

How my school made me what I am!

Remember that very special day, the first day of school, that day when you first step out from your house, into an unknown world, a more disciplined world? Though, we do not realize it then, it is one of the most important days of our lives. Some embrace this day with open arms, as a symbol of adventure and fun and then there are others who cringe at the thought of straying away from their parents' protection. What none of us realize then, is the fact that this day defines our existence as a civilized individual. Once you step into school, your life is never the same. Every day is a learning experience, every step a rendezvous with your destiny. And that is why, school to me, is the key to any person's life map. 

A school does not just give you knowledge, but educates you on the wisdom to apply the knowledge appropriately. Every person cherishes their school days the most and looks back with fondness. It is the time of life where you are free as a bird and you are encouraged to explore and embrace life. It has been 10 years, since, I parted ways with my school, but it is a part of me that demarcates every step I venture into the school of life. I grew up with the school and it was equally pleasurable to see the school grow with us, getting new classrooms, winning national accolades, and basically making us proud to be part of this great institution. It has been 25 years, this wonderful school came into existence, and I couldn't be happier to know that it is growing leaps and bounds. Even though, I can't be a part of the festivities,  I can at least share my happiness with many of my fellow school mates, who feel the same way. So, just recounting a few reasons why my school's Foundation Day means so much and why I want to celebrate the existence of this establishment.

1. Entered a child, exited an individual

When you start school, you are already a little person, with traits that define you, but it is the school, the teachers, the principal, the help, who carve who you could be. They have the capacity to encourage the good, and eliminate the bad. If you think of it, unless you got stars for being neat, or got sent to the corner for being dishonest, how would you even know what was right and wrong. Small gestures that changed our lives took birth in school. Not that parents don't teach the same, but there is something about teachers, and getting either appreciated or reprimanded in public that had a larger effect. The qualities that you pick up over the years, makes you the person you are. So, if I get a good employee evaluation and it says, "Meticulous, sincere and honest", I have my school to thank for it.

2. Home away from home

An extension of the previous point, school is where you spend most of the time of your formative years. If  there is a place children are as comfortable as being home, it is only school. The sense of routine, of seeing the same faces everyday, of being greeted by the same cheerful teacher, is what gives a sense of family to your experience at school. How many of you remember standing up for your classmates in a squabble with children from another grade? I do, not only the standing up part, but also feeling proud for being able to help out your class. And like family, you also gradually learn that you don't always have to be extremely fond of everyone in the family, but just staying connected, being civil and being there for each other is enough. This is the place where I learnt the basics of social living.

3. Found a career

Although a school gives you much more than just formal education, it does eventually direct you to your career goal in life. In the 12 years that I was at this wonderful school, I changed my aspirations many times, but it is the right kind of exposure and open discussions with teachers that helped me realize what I was passionate about. Hosting radio talk shows, book reports, debates, elocution, poetry writing contests, one creative venture at a time, pointed me towards the most satisfying experience of being able to write, and  to freelance for magazines and dailies. It was also the same school that taught me that I need not follow the norms and just pick one profession. My Biology teacher was encouraging me to pursue a career using one of my favorite subjects, and she was the one to make me realize that I could balance both my loves at the same time. Securing highest marks in both of my favorites, just made it more clear; I did not have to give up one for the other, but just take the best of both. So, today if I am able to claim that I am a Microbiologist and can  write technical articles with credibility, it is because my teachers knew what was right for me and pushed me to challenge myself.

4. Love for sports

I can only thank my school for having a great Physical Education program. As much as studying was important, there wasn't a lack of physical activities to keep us up and running. I still feel that there are many more options for the students now, but we were still given the best possible, at that time. The reason I can claim to be active today, is only because early on in life, I was introduced to the pleasures derived from the adrenalin rush, only playing a sport can bring, Today, I know that the adrenalin releases endorphins which gives you a sense of pleasure, but back then it was just a part of school curriculum. And I am thankful to all my physical education instructors to not only have taught me how great it feels to enjoy the sun and put your limbs to good use, but also for the great lessons in team work, leadership skills, sportsmanship spirit and mutual respect. I can't say I am really good at one particular sport, but those lessons push me to set out on new adventures in the form of camping, hiking, horse-back riding, scuba diving and many more.

5. Well-rounded personality 

As goes with sports, the 'trying my hand' at different art forms like drama, dance, music, arts and craft, has opened my life to fulfilling experiences. The reason Greeks valued the Arts so much was because they thought it made for a well-rested, more satisfied and healthy clan. Arts as an expression of the mind and soul has really been my reprieve on a lot of occasions and the reason for me being able to state that I am a well-rounded personality, on my personal statements. Finding solace in books and making wonderful friends with the characters is also thanks to the wonderful library system of our school. Science fairs, study tours and other interactive ways to embrace knowledge has helped me be a better teacher, today too.

6. Friends for life

Something I am eternally thankful to our school is for the opportunity to forge wonderful friendships. The home away from home, that school is, life's closest confidantes are found here. There was never a more exciting time than to embark on new beginnings and to simply grow up, with friends who had so much to share. You not only shared your triumphs and downfalls, you shared those wonderful moments of life that are cherished forever. You went on picnics, enjoyed socials and disclosed dreams and aspirations. School is where I found my most loyal, kind and generous supporters, and I can only hope that my friends could say the same about me. And it is again teachers and the school who inculcate the necessity of finding great friends in life, by assigning study partners, making us share our benches and basically teaching us a lesson in having an open mind. It is at this time in life, that friends are the whole and sole of your life, and you never find stronger bonds than the ones created then, and for some like me, you also might find a future life partner in your study partner!

7. Responsible citizen

Establishing community work societies and groups was one of the best things that our school could have done. Though as young children, who think planting a tree is a waste and don't realize the significance; as grown-ups today, we realize it was one of those lessons whose importance you learn later on in life. Leading by example and donating a certain percentage of the salary towards the Kargil Fund, our teachers made an indelible impression and imparted a lesson no book could have taught. It was then that we were encouraged to send letters of appreciation to our soldiers on the front, and to this day, there is no action I feel prouder of. Irrespective of whether it did reach in time or not, there is nothing that makes me feel good about being human and being there for others. Hats off to our educators, to have pushed us to be reliable and dependable citizens, who one day, would give back to the society, by helping one cause or the other.

8. Cultural Values

The soon to become extinct cultural values, though not part of the curriculum was also included in our journey as a student. I remember forming a single file queue and walking to the post office, with hand-made cards for parents on Diwali, Christmas, etc. Till date, I can never forget the value being imbibed in us to be thankful and appreciative of wonderful parents who worked hard to give us life's big and small pleasures. With the same fervor, we would also participate in celebrations for major festivals. It still amazes me as to how tactfully our teachers got us interested in the wonderful fables and tales behind each tradition, and that is something that long after, we still relate to that occasion. And of course, to top it, who could forget the delicious sweet boxes distributed to celebrate such occasions. Relevant or not, in the process of celebrating Diwali, Christmas and Id, we learnt a lot about culture and history and the acceptance of each religion for what it is.

9. Sense of Belonging

To say the least, my school gave me a sense of belonging, and along the years, if there is one thing that I have realized is important for a self-image, is being attached to a group, a clan, an institution, something you can call your own. Being the social animals that we are, it is pleasing to bond with people over a common piece of history, and what better thread than the place that harbored you for the most significant part of life. Being successful doesn't matter as much, if there is no one you can make proud. My school has given me that motivation to do well in life, to make it as proud, as I am of it. 

There are uncountable ways my school affected me, but these are the ones that made me who I am, and as thankful as I am for being a part of this magnificent school, I couldn't be grateful enough to my parents, for making the right choice for me. My school turned 25 this year on July 12th, and I can only wish that wonderful citizens bring back the laurels for this school as alumni and create a place for this institution in the pages of history!

P.S. My thoughts are echoed by the most memorable song School Chale Hum!, that I woke up to everyday, before going to school. And no other movie could explain better the friendships in school than Shala.

Superstition galore

This blog was published in the Times of India NRI section.

When Sachin Tendulkar completed his 100th century, entire India supposedly heaved a sigh of relief and like any other ardent cricket fan, believed that they had a contribution in Sachin's excellent track record for a career spanning two decades. It is normal for sportsmen to have lucky charms and wear them or have some superstitions they believe will make them perform better. But, isn't it a little strange that cricket fans are so much in love with the game that they think their actions could affect how their team performs? Of course, India is a country where cricket seems to be the ray of hope in an otherwise not such a sport-backed country. But, even in America, I have heard from friends about the things they would do to make their teams win, be it the Super Bowl or NBA Championships. What amazes me though, is the fact that, mot people refer to these anecdotes from the past, feeling nostalgic about it. Why is it that as we grow up, we stop following these superstitions?

Is it the fact that we are too grown up now, and understand that wearing the same T-shirt for every game your team plays is not practical? I mean, I remember wearing the same blue colored T-shirt for every World Cup game India played in 1999. And it is not that India won all the games in which I had worn the same T-shirt. They did lose one game, yet I found a reason to defend why the loss was because of something else and not the T-shirt. Now, World Cup advertising campaigns also rely heavily on people being superstitious and trying to support their team in some little way. If anybody remembers, we used to have the Pepsi Blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgP227fiE8A) and Clinic All Clear commercials, where you were supposed to drink Pepsi Blue  to get that India blue inside of you and were supposed to wash your hair with Clinic All Clear. And to add to that, they had the cheesy tagline "Dho Daala" (Rival team is washed away). Can you believe the shampoo was an anti-dandruff one, and it is just amazing how they could relate it to cricket. But, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I did believe, using Clinic All Clear would make the Team India win!

From my personal experience, I know I have stuck to my chair in the same position, not moving an inch, so that all the wickets would stay intact. I would prohibit my father from saying anything in favor of the Indian team or making comments which indicated that the Indian team would win. Just because a few times, when he said India would win, they lost. So, he couldn't say anything until we had actually and truly won the match! Now, when I think of it- could I have been any more childish? But, that is the conviction with which I believed  we could make a difference to our team winning or losing. Even in times, when our team was not doing well at all and had no chance of winning whatsoever, or even losing with some dignity. 

And span the camera to World Cup 2011, when we actually had a shot at winning the title. I couldn't see all the matches, I did not wear blue for all the match days, and I definitely did not sit in one position for the whole of the match. I was getting up constantly to get some work done, make lunch, take a call or something else. What was wrong that I did not feel like doing my bit for my team? For one, since my very favorite player  of all time, Saurav Ganguly had retired from cricket, I had kind of detached myself from cricket in protest. Just look at the intensity of my faith in him; as though me not watching cricket was going to do any good at all. But, that was my way of showing solidarity for a man, who according to me had been treated unjustly, but who would never know I even existed.

That aside, today, when I have a better understanding of worldly affairs, I no longer, believe that my actions or beliefs can have any effect on the performance of any team. Is it because I have grown up and have become sensible or is it because I have lost that passion, that zeal required to blindly follow your team, no matter what? The way I look at it, when we are younger, we are oblivious to the real world. Life and its multiple dimensions are unfathomable by us, and we live in an illusion. But this illusion is what makes us believe, have faith and be passionate about what we believe in.

Once we grow up, and face the harsh realities of life, our faith is crushed, the passion dies off and we are transformed into realistic and dull robots. We are so caught up with so many more relevant issues, the pressures of daily life, where we have to divert our energy, that we tend to ignore these petty issues. Like a lot of people say, "I would rather have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all". I would rather put my faith in some team, than not have faith at all. I would rather believe so strongly in something, that I think my beliefs will change things, than not believe in miracles at all. I would rather have that zest for life, than follow a monotonous routine where work is all that matters. I would rather enjoy life, being silly and following superstitions, than be serious and pragmatic to the extent that I no longer know what it felt like to be a child! I remember how bad it hurt to have lost so badly in the 2003 World Cup, when we had had such a wonderful run up to the finals. But, what I can't remember is when the last time was that I felt so strongly about something that the disappointment still brings up a lump in my throat.

I am sure there are a lot of people who still follow their favorite sport and favorite player, with that unshakable belief, and hats off to them for keeping the child within them alive. I am just hoping I can get over the fact that I will no longer see my hero, Saurav Ganguly on the field and will have to find someone else I can follow with as much as dedication! I am hoping I can go back to being so innocent and naive, that I can find life's little pleasures, without worrying about its intricacies  :)

Think about it! What would you want to bring back from your childhood days of innocence?


Some videos that will make cricket-lovers nostalgic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYcNu8v1-cM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJUYjV0JHvk

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To carry your hurt or to move on???

The cricket fever is back with the World Cup and whether it is interesting enough, is another debate. But, what bothers me is whether all of the players are really passionate for the game. That sent me back to the image of Saurav Ganguly hurling his shirt in the air when he led the team into winning the Natwest Trophy in 2002. Though a much debated action, it was a moment in cricket history, where for the first time a football-like aggression was witnessed by true fanatics of the game. There was a captain who really valued the victory, but more than that, he was a player, a sportsman who truly put his heart into the sport. And his passion for the game was evident in his uninhibited actions.

It is almost 10 years since that act of passion and now, when I look at him in the commentary box giving out critiques and analyzing the game, I know he doesn't belong there. He has received much flak for his abilities as a commentator, and as hardcore a fan of him as I am, I have to admit that he isn't very good at it. But what impresses me is the fact that he just doesn't give up. One way or another, he tries to keep coming back to the game. What happens when someone is kept away form doing what they really love??? There could be 2 options, there are some that are disheartened, who mope over it, but eventually get over it and move on with life. And then there are others, who claw their way back into achieving their dreams and getting back to their love. And you know what makes the second category different from the first. It is the fact that they really want it so bad, that it hurts more than anything when they are away from that dream. It is their will to turn that hurt into aggression and motivation, to lead them on.

That is what Saurav Ganguly has done. He was bid farewell from captaincy most disgracefully, he was accused publicly of putting himself ahead of the team, he was forced to opt for an early retirement and when he tried coming back with whatever form of cricket possible, he was made to face nothing but humiliation. It takes a lot of courage to face such ordeals. Only someone who desperately loves the sport, would do so much to come back and be accepted. Only someone who looks at it not as a source of earning, will find a way to be associated with it. That is the only reason he is back, trying his hand at something new. He knows he might not do very well at it, but it's his willingness to learn and start from the basics that affirm my belief that there is a fighter in him.

You have to surrender yourself completely, when you love something. You have to keep your fear of being accepted, aside. You have to ignore the humiliation you might face. You have to just concentrate on the goal and think of these blows as the little price you pay for ultimately getting that peace of mind, which you derive from giving it your all.

And I know this, because I have a passion. I know how it feels to be not able to make it, but still wanting to work at it so badly, that nothing else matters. Writing for me, is the ultimate source of happiness. My friend asked me the other day how I came up with things to write about. And to be honest, I really don't know. Writing is a like an extension of my thoughts, it is an ongoing process. I look at something, it strikes to me as interesting and evokes a chain of thoughts. And I know that I have to express it.

For years, I have contributed articles to newspapers and magazines. And only I know how difficult it was to get your piece published in the first go. I faced a lot of disappointments in many different ways. I wanted to be a journalist and write for a living, but there were some deterrents and I decided against it. For a long time now, I have been envious of people who were in this business. I nurtured my hurt and sorrow and completely turned away from writing. But I longed to be back; back to where I was me, and where I was satisfied. I would have that sudden spur of inspiration. And I was still looking to be published, to get success out of it. That is where I went wrong.

I recently realized, that nobody can keep you from doing what you love, but you! I was my obstacle. The minute I decided I am going to write because it gives me pleasure, the fear of being approved of, disappeared. Today I don't regret that writing is not my profession. Because I don't look at it as something that I have to do, because my career depends on it or because of any other serious implications. I look at it as something that refreshes me and rejuvenates my existence, it is my secret place where I can find comfort. And for that, I am thankful to the many fighters like Saurav Ganguly, who proved to me that there is nothing called too much or too late, when you do it to achieve your dream.