Wild, Crazy and Fierce: Who, me???

"Late at night my mind would come alive with voices and stories and friends as dear to me as any in the real world. I gave myself up to it, longing for transformation." - Jo March

For anybody who knew me when I was growing up, they would know for sure that Josephine March was one of my greatest role model. She was that one person I was in awe of and yet, felt like someone I could relate to so much. Like her, I would wake up in the middle of the night with the excitement of the adventures I had embarked upon with so many new friends. It felt like I was on a novel journey everyday, because unlike many others, my mind would constantly be conjuring images even during short afternoon naps. And all this was before I had even read Little Women, the greatest book ever written about how there are so many different types of species in the spectacular creation, called women. 

So, imagine my amusement, when I read about this girl, who sounded like me. Once I had read the rest of the sequels, there was no looking back. I was so sure, I wanted to be nothing in life, but Jo March. And to this day, I don't know if I tried to mirror myself to her, or I was already in her shoes. All I know is that, when I was younger, all I would think was "What would have Jo done?".

And it is not that there weren't any similarities: both of us longed for an older brother, loved books, were a little awkward, maybe not very lady-like, our best friend was a boy and the most obvious one, had long hair. That made me really believe that her story was the guide to my life. Josephine March was the first woman that I truly believed was a dynamic lady, and for the staunch feminist that I am, nothing was more impressive than that. Her fierceness, her passion, her free spirit, her wonderful words, her wildness, everything just felt like stepping stones to an exciting life like hers.

All along my childhood and teen years, I have thought a million times how much fun it would have been to have such great sisterly time, such magnificent capers with a friend like Laurie, to travel to a new city, and establish your self. I wanted to be a part of all those crazy adventures and be so spirited that life would never stop being fun. I wanted to be so passionate about something that nothing apart from achieving it would matter. I wanted to break the cliches of womanhood and be a rebel. One fiery statement from her held the crux to so many misconceptions in life. Equality, nobility, rationale all tied together in such a simple reply:

"I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country."

Needless to say, Little Women and its sequels formed a very early impression on me of women in their varied forms. And not just women, but the different personalities which are not necessarily good or bad, just so different and unique in themselves. Jo is not very fond of her sister Meg's husband-to-be, who is such a gentleman, but according to Jo is "as dull as powder". The uniqueness of characters and yet, the way they blend together just speaks so much about perceptions and judgments, based on who we are and what we like. 

And among the many lessons imparted in this wonderful book, the best I learnt were from Jo, She was that one character I wanted to be like, made me want to be part of all the drama in a book. She made me believe that passion does drive you towards greater satisfaction and more importantly, that it is okay to be different. I would not say I was a tomboy, but I was definitely not interested in shopping or dressing up. And I felt something was missing because my mother and sister would bond over those things. I would rather go horse-riding or play a sport or even watch a serious talk show. Some of my closest friends were boys and I was much more comfortable with them.  And I did not know what to think of that. But, it was the Jo inside me who told me it was okay, that my family would love me for who I was. Sometimes, I wanted to be a tomboy so bad, I would wonder why my name couldn't be shortened for a boy's name. Childish as that sounds, today I see the real characteristics that I loved about Jo. And as much as I like my individuality, I would love to be Jo and hope to borrow her goodness: be as invigorating, feisty, intelligent, generous and loving as her. 

"I want to do something splendid before I go into my castle, something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after I'm dead. I don't know what, but I'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all some day.” 

It was Jo's love for writing that unknowingly transcended the pages of her book into me. Although, I want to do something new everyday, one thing has stuck with me and I think I might have found the means to astonish my loved ones :) If I don't write something that is on my mind, I get restless and finicky and the minute I am done, I am jumping up and down. Though, I do not have a Writing Cap like hers, my husband would very likely describe me like Louisa May Alcott described Jo:

"Every few weeks she would shut herself up in her room, put on her scribbling suit, and fall into a vortex, as she expressed it, writing away at her novel with all her heart and soul, for till that was finished she could find no peace.” 

― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women 

Some other books that made me want to be a part of them:

Mallory Towers and St. Claire's

The Help

The Famous Five Series

Doctors

James Herriot's Books

These books and many more are my greatest treasures, and writing this blog, just makes me want to go back and relive each of the stories with those wonderful characters. For all the book lovers, I am sure there is a book that means a lot to you and a character that inspires you. What character would you want to be?

Humbled and Honored!

It has been a year that I set foot in the world of blogging, a bit too late, now that I think of it. I had been coaxed into it by my brother-in-law to give it a try. I was not very sure this was my cup of tea, and never understood why blogging was necessary when I had already been writing for years, using a pen and paper or for that matter, just writing on Microsoft Word. That ways, I am a little old school, I think. And I still am. I am not very good at marketing and am not out there, networking with other bloggers. But, all of this changed when I joined blogging forums and started getting comments and feedback. See, this is what is different between blogging and writing for newspapers. Though, I had been freelancing for many years, I had received true feedback only in the form of a few "Letter to the Editor" pieces. But, blogging really brought me more comments and opened up debatable topics for discussion. All such stimulating sessions set the wheels in your mind rolling. 

And I am really thankful to have been deemed worthy of the title "Versatile Blogger", by a fellow blogger. Thank you so much Vajra for the Versatile Blogger Award, which motivates me to write better and keep trying to write about different topics. It was the technical writing on my Science Blog BioMilieu (which is still taking baby steps) that got me the tag of 'versatile' and I really appreciate Vajra's gesture of recognizing it. He is a perfect example of someone who started blogging about his passion: cricket, and then moved onto more challenging themes. A big thank you to him and all the readers, who inspire me to write everyday. Your comments and feedback truly humble me and make writing so much more fun!

Now, to the rules that need to followed, once you are awarded there are certain rules to be followed:
1. Create a new post
2. Thank the lovely person who nominated you for the award
3. Pass it on to your fellow bloggers
4. State 7 random facts about you
5. Claim and post the award pic

So some random, but not very quirky facts about me:

1. I am very very passionate about teaching; brings me some strange pleasure and a smile that refuses to leave my face, when I am with my students. To read more, about what teaching means to me, you could check this post.
2. I simply love the smell of coffee beans, and I love chewing on the beans, to get the creative juices flowing. Coffee is my substitute for chocolate, when in a formal setting. If you share my love for chocolate, you might like to take a peek.

3. Flowers are my drug, give me a garden to play with, and see my fears, apprehensions scamper away.
4. I crib a lot about the harsh winter in Minnesota, but I secretly kind of love it, especially the first snow of the season. There is nothing more serene than pure, white, blanket of fresh, soft snow around (I know people close to me are going to be shocked, reading this, since I am always cold)
5. Italian food is my comfort food, I can rely on the breads, the salads and the soups to get my spirits up.
6. Demure I may look, but I manage to get really fierce; the issue or person just has to be close enough to my heart to put up a fight.
7. I am quite indecisive, to the extent that I visit a store to survey clothes, am not sure which ones to get, go back to get the ones I couldn't get out of my mind, and yet return most of them the day after :) 

Well, that is a little bit about me. And now to pass on the honor! In my short time exploring the blogosphere, I have discovered lots of wonderful blogs pertinent to specific niche areas. Here are some of the bloggers, I think deserve to be awarded for their insight of the subject they are passionate about!

1. Arun for his insightful movie reviews on his blog Passion for Movies

2. Radhika for the peppy, girly feel of her blog and blogging about all things cool on her blog Rads Blog-A-Zine 

3. Debajyoti for the quirkiness of his blog Some Facts Some Nonsense 

4. Sandeep for discussing all things close to the hearts of NRIs, and yet more interesting issues on his blog The NRI 

5. Viju for bringing together all A R Rahman lovers and creating such a great forum for eclectic music  on his blog Rahmania

6. Debdatta for her amazing capacity to read so many books and produce interesting book reviews on her blog Book Reviews by D.D.S 

7. Tomichan Matheikal for the heart-felt posts and in-depth analysis of issues on his blog Matheikal's Blog

Although there are many other blogs that make my day, and count for great reads, but most of them are well established and must have been showered with multitudes of such awards! To name a few, Nabanita (Random thoughts - Naba), Saru Singhal (Words), Purnendu (Shadows Galore) and Umashankar Pandey (One grain amongst the Storm).  There are so many perspectives to be heard and so many lessons to be learnt, and blogging just makes it a little experience. Taking a bow to blogging and all bloggers whose words provoke discussion, thought and action!

Superstition galore

This blog was published in the Times of India NRI section.

When Sachin Tendulkar completed his 100th century, entire India supposedly heaved a sigh of relief and like any other ardent cricket fan, believed that they had a contribution in Sachin's excellent track record for a career spanning two decades. It is normal for sportsmen to have lucky charms and wear them or have some superstitions they believe will make them perform better. But, isn't it a little strange that cricket fans are so much in love with the game that they think their actions could affect how their team performs? Of course, India is a country where cricket seems to be the ray of hope in an otherwise not such a sport-backed country. But, even in America, I have heard from friends about the things they would do to make their teams win, be it the Super Bowl or NBA Championships. What amazes me though, is the fact that, mot people refer to these anecdotes from the past, feeling nostalgic about it. Why is it that as we grow up, we stop following these superstitions?

Is it the fact that we are too grown up now, and understand that wearing the same T-shirt for every game your team plays is not practical? I mean, I remember wearing the same blue colored T-shirt for every World Cup game India played in 1999. And it is not that India won all the games in which I had worn the same T-shirt. They did lose one game, yet I found a reason to defend why the loss was because of something else and not the T-shirt. Now, World Cup advertising campaigns also rely heavily on people being superstitious and trying to support their team in some little way. If anybody remembers, we used to have the Pepsi Blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgP227fiE8A) and Clinic All Clear commercials, where you were supposed to drink Pepsi Blue  to get that India blue inside of you and were supposed to wash your hair with Clinic All Clear. And to add to that, they had the cheesy tagline "Dho Daala" (Rival team is washed away). Can you believe the shampoo was an anti-dandruff one, and it is just amazing how they could relate it to cricket. But, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I did believe, using Clinic All Clear would make the Team India win!

From my personal experience, I know I have stuck to my chair in the same position, not moving an inch, so that all the wickets would stay intact. I would prohibit my father from saying anything in favor of the Indian team or making comments which indicated that the Indian team would win. Just because a few times, when he said India would win, they lost. So, he couldn't say anything until we had actually and truly won the match! Now, when I think of it- could I have been any more childish? But, that is the conviction with which I believed  we could make a difference to our team winning or losing. Even in times, when our team was not doing well at all and had no chance of winning whatsoever, or even losing with some dignity. 

And span the camera to World Cup 2011, when we actually had a shot at winning the title. I couldn't see all the matches, I did not wear blue for all the match days, and I definitely did not sit in one position for the whole of the match. I was getting up constantly to get some work done, make lunch, take a call or something else. What was wrong that I did not feel like doing my bit for my team? For one, since my very favorite player  of all time, Saurav Ganguly had retired from cricket, I had kind of detached myself from cricket in protest. Just look at the intensity of my faith in him; as though me not watching cricket was going to do any good at all. But, that was my way of showing solidarity for a man, who according to me had been treated unjustly, but who would never know I even existed.

That aside, today, when I have a better understanding of worldly affairs, I no longer, believe that my actions or beliefs can have any effect on the performance of any team. Is it because I have grown up and have become sensible or is it because I have lost that passion, that zeal required to blindly follow your team, no matter what? The way I look at it, when we are younger, we are oblivious to the real world. Life and its multiple dimensions are unfathomable by us, and we live in an illusion. But this illusion is what makes us believe, have faith and be passionate about what we believe in.

Once we grow up, and face the harsh realities of life, our faith is crushed, the passion dies off and we are transformed into realistic and dull robots. We are so caught up with so many more relevant issues, the pressures of daily life, where we have to divert our energy, that we tend to ignore these petty issues. Like a lot of people say, "I would rather have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all". I would rather put my faith in some team, than not have faith at all. I would rather believe so strongly in something, that I think my beliefs will change things, than not believe in miracles at all. I would rather have that zest for life, than follow a monotonous routine where work is all that matters. I would rather enjoy life, being silly and following superstitions, than be serious and pragmatic to the extent that I no longer know what it felt like to be a child! I remember how bad it hurt to have lost so badly in the 2003 World Cup, when we had had such a wonderful run up to the finals. But, what I can't remember is when the last time was that I felt so strongly about something that the disappointment still brings up a lump in my throat.

I am sure there are a lot of people who still follow their favorite sport and favorite player, with that unshakable belief, and hats off to them for keeping the child within them alive. I am just hoping I can get over the fact that I will no longer see my hero, Saurav Ganguly on the field and will have to find someone else I can follow with as much as dedication! I am hoping I can go back to being so innocent and naive, that I can find life's little pleasures, without worrying about its intricacies  :)

Think about it! What would you want to bring back from your childhood days of innocence?


Some videos that will make cricket-lovers nostalgic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYcNu8v1-cM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJUYjV0JHvk

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To carry your hurt or to move on???

The cricket fever is back with the World Cup and whether it is interesting enough, is another debate. But, what bothers me is whether all of the players are really passionate for the game. That sent me back to the image of Saurav Ganguly hurling his shirt in the air when he led the team into winning the Natwest Trophy in 2002. Though a much debated action, it was a moment in cricket history, where for the first time a football-like aggression was witnessed by true fanatics of the game. There was a captain who really valued the victory, but more than that, he was a player, a sportsman who truly put his heart into the sport. And his passion for the game was evident in his uninhibited actions.

It is almost 10 years since that act of passion and now, when I look at him in the commentary box giving out critiques and analyzing the game, I know he doesn't belong there. He has received much flak for his abilities as a commentator, and as hardcore a fan of him as I am, I have to admit that he isn't very good at it. But what impresses me is the fact that he just doesn't give up. One way or another, he tries to keep coming back to the game. What happens when someone is kept away form doing what they really love??? There could be 2 options, there are some that are disheartened, who mope over it, but eventually get over it and move on with life. And then there are others, who claw their way back into achieving their dreams and getting back to their love. And you know what makes the second category different from the first. It is the fact that they really want it so bad, that it hurts more than anything when they are away from that dream. It is their will to turn that hurt into aggression and motivation, to lead them on.

That is what Saurav Ganguly has done. He was bid farewell from captaincy most disgracefully, he was accused publicly of putting himself ahead of the team, he was forced to opt for an early retirement and when he tried coming back with whatever form of cricket possible, he was made to face nothing but humiliation. It takes a lot of courage to face such ordeals. Only someone who desperately loves the sport, would do so much to come back and be accepted. Only someone who looks at it not as a source of earning, will find a way to be associated with it. That is the only reason he is back, trying his hand at something new. He knows he might not do very well at it, but it's his willingness to learn and start from the basics that affirm my belief that there is a fighter in him.

You have to surrender yourself completely, when you love something. You have to keep your fear of being accepted, aside. You have to ignore the humiliation you might face. You have to just concentrate on the goal and think of these blows as the little price you pay for ultimately getting that peace of mind, which you derive from giving it your all.

And I know this, because I have a passion. I know how it feels to be not able to make it, but still wanting to work at it so badly, that nothing else matters. Writing for me, is the ultimate source of happiness. My friend asked me the other day how I came up with things to write about. And to be honest, I really don't know. Writing is a like an extension of my thoughts, it is an ongoing process. I look at something, it strikes to me as interesting and evokes a chain of thoughts. And I know that I have to express it.

For years, I have contributed articles to newspapers and magazines. And only I know how difficult it was to get your piece published in the first go. I faced a lot of disappointments in many different ways. I wanted to be a journalist and write for a living, but there were some deterrents and I decided against it. For a long time now, I have been envious of people who were in this business. I nurtured my hurt and sorrow and completely turned away from writing. But I longed to be back; back to where I was me, and where I was satisfied. I would have that sudden spur of inspiration. And I was still looking to be published, to get success out of it. That is where I went wrong.

I recently realized, that nobody can keep you from doing what you love, but you! I was my obstacle. The minute I decided I am going to write because it gives me pleasure, the fear of being approved of, disappeared. Today I don't regret that writing is not my profession. Because I don't look at it as something that I have to do, because my career depends on it or because of any other serious implications. I look at it as something that refreshes me and rejuvenates my existence, it is my secret place where I can find comfort. And for that, I am thankful to the many fighters like Saurav Ganguly, who proved to me that there is nothing called too much or too late, when you do it to achieve your dream.