Of opinions and biases!!!

If you are active on any of the social media avenues, you would have heard of the event that is doing the rounds lately. This event has all the trademarks of something that can keep you hooked. There is drama, beautiful people, a lot of anticipation and excitement attached to it and most important, there is love and the underlying notions of humanity. It is supposed to be one of the first Indian lesbian weddings and everybody seems to have an opinion. The official photographer who is friends with the couple was touched to be part of the celebration and in turn created a photo montage. He is the one who made the pictures public and tried to carve a story through his pictures for friends and family. (For more on that, click here).

What is normal and what is not?

What he and the couple entering wedded bliss might not have realized is that this little venture turned out to be the staging area for many debates and opinions. As with every social issue, people tend to have an opinion and with SNS so easily accessible, it has become increasingly simple to lend a voice to your thoughts. Every person is entitled to his/her opinion. With respect to sexual orientation, there are people who get uncomfortable, others that vehemently support the issue, some others who detest people out of the usual (whatever usual might mean), and others who would rather just ignore the issue altogether. There is a wide spectrum of reactions elicited from people and especially when it comes to laws being framed around the issue, the voices become louder and clearer. Questions like whether it is legal or acceptable in society start arising. My concern is that we as liberals favor democracies, but want to curb the rights of some people. How does that support the principles of democracy? 

Yet again, there are people who liken implementing gun control to a violation of rights. It is not that I am comparing the right to love someone with the right to own a firearm. It would be like comparing apples to oranges. There are multiple dimensions to these issues and that is a completely different debate. But in both cases, the commonality is the fact that there are people with opposing views, numerous opinions and strong reactions. What I am unsure of is whether these opinions transform to biases somewhere along the line. Currently, sexual orientation is the flavor of the decade. But, all through human civilization, there have been issues with people on different sides of it. As the intelligent animal we are touted to be, it is thoroughly acceptable for us to have opinions and choices. But, is it fair to justify our opinion and use that to discriminate against someone with an opposing opinion?

A week ago, me and my husband were having a conversation over our weekend brunch (which is fertile ground for many of our debates), and got into a heated argument over some issue. And that is when I realized that is is very difficult to have a bias-free opinion. Bias necessarily does not mean exposing someone to insult, or inflicting physical or mental abuse. Just the fact that we consider people to be out of the normal and form certain impressions about them could lead us to compartmentalize them and establish notions,which might not always be true. We don't realize many times, but even thoughts can be discriminating; it does not always have to translate into action. Even though discrimination in its truest form might have been rendered inactive, there are always subtle discriminatory phenomena. Associating people with a certain habit and trying to avoid them, because they belong to a certain nationality or ethnicity is in a way discriminatory. Assuming that one person represents the whole group is being biased. Assuming women can't work in physically strenuous jobs because their physical make-up is different from men would mean harboring a prejudice. And even though, it might not feel wrong to the person doing it, the person at the receiving end knows that he/she is being looked at differently. 

So does all this mean that you are not supposed to have an opinion at all? I am not so sure I can answer that. After all my pondering, all I know is that it is very difficult not to let your opinion affect your judgement. And the best practice that I have been trying to implement is to judge as less as possible. There is no way I can stop myself from having an opinion, let alone stopping someone else. So, the best I can do is not to let my opinions interfere with my interactions with people. Yes, I may not like smoking; but that does not mean that there is something wrong with smokers. Just like I have an opinion, they have a choice. It is their free will they are exerting and there is no reason to judge them for that. They may be perfectly good people, excellent at work, kind at heart; and their habit should not stop me from recognizing them for who they are. But like they say, easier said than done.

What do you think, could you keep opinion and bias separate?

The dynamics of oppression

So, think about this! The British oppressed India and many other colonies for decades. Blacks were suppressed by Whites; Hitler subjugated the Jews, Brahmins looked down upon the lower castes, and this tale of segregation and oppression could go on. And if you look closely, oppression is one feature that has transcended the barriers of race, country, caste, gender and what not. It is gut-wrenching to process the fact that it does not take long for the oppressed to become the oppressor.

And what is more disturbing is that this chain reaction continues and has been ever existent in humanity. What changes is the pretext under which the oppression is conducted. Anybody who has read “The Help” or “The Color Purple”, or for that matter any book on segregation scenarios, would have noticed one underlying theme to it. Of course, everybody expects the white-black discrimination, but what takes you by surprise is the casual mention of black men abusing their women. What is also shocking is that the children in such households grow up witnessing all this, and fine tune their minds to recognize who is stronger in a certain situation. Between a white man and a black man, the white man is; between a black man and black woman, the black man; between a beautiful white woman and a Plain Jane, the pretty one; between a white woman and a white child, the white woman,  and so on and so forth. And these very children grow up to become the adults who decide which part of the discrimination spectrum they want to be in, either they are discriminated against or they are the discriminators.

Over the years, the reasons for oppression have changed, but the pain, humiliation and fear have simply traversed the generations. Although, the racial oppression is almost in oblivion, there are others that have come up. The most prominent, being the one between the rich and the poor. Although, discrimination is not expressed as openly as before, there are subtle ways through which the strong oppress the weak. And strength could mean power, money or some other ridiculous parameter. Oppression does not necessarily mean physical abuse, it could mean limiting the freedom of another person, it could mean having different standards for yourself and the other person, it could mean treating the other person as though he/she does not have human needs like you.

When you expect your maid to show up for work 7 days in a row, never to take leave and get upset with her if she does, it would be bordering oppression. If you get weekends off, and you have paid sick leave, how are the rules different for the maid, just because she might be weaker than you, in terms of money? When you look down upon people in a certain country, turn your nose down at them, you think you are too good for them, you might very well be in the mind-frame of oppressors. The roots of oppression arise, when the feeling of being unmatched and unparalleled sets upon a person or a group. The complacency of being much better prepares the person to suppress people without any guilt, because the feeling of being special justifies their inhuman acts, according to the oppressors.

So many of the dictators in history are debatable, but all of them were sure they were the best thing that could happen to the world. Hitler thought he was doing the world a favor by getting rid of a weaker race. And his self-proclaimed supremacy justified his abusive methods, in his eyes. During colonial times, the British, the French thought they were spreading out to the third-world countries and lending culture to them. In the process, paying no heed to the rampage caused. This ignorance was brought upon by the illusion that the world needed the English language and culture for betterment. A very common trait of oppressors: assuming that everybody else is needy and in search of a guide. Taking the liberty of deciding what is best for the oppressed class. New laws were introduced in colonies, presuming that a better life would be presented to the citizens. But, never were they asked for their opinion. Then, it might have seemed like a favor to the supposedly backward, but it would still be categorized under oppression.

When human rights are violated, it is oppression of humanity, and that is the common link between the different types of oppression: racial, gender-based or economic. Equality is a principle humans have never actually abided by. What I fail to understand is the fact that one man's weakness becomes another's source of power. And the fact that this starts reflecting at a young age is alarming. The advent of bullying could very well be a reflection of the need to gain primacy by quelling someone. The need to satisfy our ego is a deep-rooted necessity, and it is going to take much more than seminars on discrimination. Each person has to think for themselves and try to erase the lines, the imaginary lines Kathryn Stockett talks about in her book. With diversity becoming a common feature, it has become easier to accept different people as they are. It is essential for people to realize that a difference is not good or bad, it is just what it is: a difference. And different is what brings flavor to life!

The theme of the oppressed and the oppressor has been evident in myths, stories and movies, but it is time, we found ourselves a new topic to write about. Oppression of all kinds, be it on animals, children, women, blacks, poor, weak, lower castes is unfair and uncalled for. And one thing that humbles me is the reminder that I might be qualified to be the oppressor in one category, but I might also very well have to assume the role of the oppressed in a different category. So the elimination of these borders and imaginary thrones for the strong, would be in the best interest of humanity. Whether the oppressor is at fault or the oppressed is wrong for tolerating, is another discussion altogether. But, rather than debating on that, the new Mantra to globalization should be the desire to make people comfortable in their skins (both literally and metaphorically)!

Some weblinks that throw some more light on the theme of oppression:

Goodreads Book List on 'Oppression'

Racial Discrimination and Oppression - Oprah Winfrey Show