Of opinions and biases!!!

If you are active on any of the social media avenues, you would have heard of the event that is doing the rounds lately. This event has all the trademarks of something that can keep you hooked. There is drama, beautiful people, a lot of anticipation and excitement attached to it and most important, there is love and the underlying notions of humanity. It is supposed to be one of the first Indian lesbian weddings and everybody seems to have an opinion. The official photographer who is friends with the couple was touched to be part of the celebration and in turn created a photo montage. He is the one who made the pictures public and tried to carve a story through his pictures for friends and family. (For more on that, click here).

What is normal and what is not?

What he and the couple entering wedded bliss might not have realized is that this little venture turned out to be the staging area for many debates and opinions. As with every social issue, people tend to have an opinion and with SNS so easily accessible, it has become increasingly simple to lend a voice to your thoughts. Every person is entitled to his/her opinion. With respect to sexual orientation, there are people who get uncomfortable, others that vehemently support the issue, some others who detest people out of the usual (whatever usual might mean), and others who would rather just ignore the issue altogether. There is a wide spectrum of reactions elicited from people and especially when it comes to laws being framed around the issue, the voices become louder and clearer. Questions like whether it is legal or acceptable in society start arising. My concern is that we as liberals favor democracies, but want to curb the rights of some people. How does that support the principles of democracy? 

Yet again, there are people who liken implementing gun control to a violation of rights. It is not that I am comparing the right to love someone with the right to own a firearm. It would be like comparing apples to oranges. There are multiple dimensions to these issues and that is a completely different debate. But in both cases, the commonality is the fact that there are people with opposing views, numerous opinions and strong reactions. What I am unsure of is whether these opinions transform to biases somewhere along the line. Currently, sexual orientation is the flavor of the decade. But, all through human civilization, there have been issues with people on different sides of it. As the intelligent animal we are touted to be, it is thoroughly acceptable for us to have opinions and choices. But, is it fair to justify our opinion and use that to discriminate against someone with an opposing opinion?

A week ago, me and my husband were having a conversation over our weekend brunch (which is fertile ground for many of our debates), and got into a heated argument over some issue. And that is when I realized that is is very difficult to have a bias-free opinion. Bias necessarily does not mean exposing someone to insult, or inflicting physical or mental abuse. Just the fact that we consider people to be out of the normal and form certain impressions about them could lead us to compartmentalize them and establish notions,which might not always be true. We don't realize many times, but even thoughts can be discriminating; it does not always have to translate into action. Even though discrimination in its truest form might have been rendered inactive, there are always subtle discriminatory phenomena. Associating people with a certain habit and trying to avoid them, because they belong to a certain nationality or ethnicity is in a way discriminatory. Assuming that one person represents the whole group is being biased. Assuming women can't work in physically strenuous jobs because their physical make-up is different from men would mean harboring a prejudice. And even though, it might not feel wrong to the person doing it, the person at the receiving end knows that he/she is being looked at differently. 

So does all this mean that you are not supposed to have an opinion at all? I am not so sure I can answer that. After all my pondering, all I know is that it is very difficult not to let your opinion affect your judgement. And the best practice that I have been trying to implement is to judge as less as possible. There is no way I can stop myself from having an opinion, let alone stopping someone else. So, the best I can do is not to let my opinions interfere with my interactions with people. Yes, I may not like smoking; but that does not mean that there is something wrong with smokers. Just like I have an opinion, they have a choice. It is their free will they are exerting and there is no reason to judge them for that. They may be perfectly good people, excellent at work, kind at heart; and their habit should not stop me from recognizing them for who they are. But like they say, easier said than done.

What do you think, could you keep opinion and bias separate?

What would you do? : Tag along!

So, the third in the series is on the lighter side. If you look at it, at each step in our lives, we are faced with choices. And unknowingly, we pick one over the other. There is no right or wrong, it is exactly what the word says: a free choice, and if one choice may work for one, it may not work for somebody else. At most, what is pertinent is, the timing of the choice. What I am trying to understand is what drives those choices and how do we know which choice is right for what occasion.

A few days back, as the class was wrapping up and all of us getting ready to rush to our busy routines, I noticed the girl next to me. I had never actually spoken to her, but had seen her in class a number of times. She must have been almost the same age as me. So, as she got up, and my eyes followed her, to my shock, I noticed that a stick-on tag with the dimensions of the jeans, was still intact on the back of her pant leg. It must have been a new pair and if she was anything like me, must have worn the new possession the first chance she got. My first reaction was a smile, as I felt a strange sisterhood with her. Sisterhood, because I could totally see this happening to me. I buy new clothes, try them on, and hang around at home to get a feel, and then walk out the door, feeling Oh-so-wonderful in my new clothes, forgetting to get the tag off. It is my husband who reminds me most of the times and if not for him, I would be walking around with tags all the time. So, I could completely imagine what must have happened with that girl.

Now, as I was thinking about all this, she started walking up the stairs to the door leading outside the classroom. And all I kept thinking was, "Should I tell her?". I knew her. But we weren't so close that I would be able to predict her reaction. There were two ways this could go: either she would be relieved that somebody had told her and saved her the humiliation of going through the whole day with the tag on, or she could be embarrassed that I had noticed and now she had to face me. And I had no clue how it would go. If I were her, I would have wanted my friend to save me from the humiliating looks that I would garner throughout the day. But, a friend telling you is different from a stranger. When a friend brings it up, it is a funny situation where you can laugh together. When a stranger brings it up, your face goes red and you suddenly realize the lack of a place to hide. 

Just the other day, I walked into a party with the tag on my shirt. My only saving grace was my braid that hid it. But, it was not going to last long. Somebody noticed it and came up to me saying that the tag was showing. As graceful as I tried to be, I started getting fidgety, with my ears and cheeks going a bloodshot red. It was the same feeling you get when you trip and fall and try to make zero eye-contact, assuming that nobody noticed. All I could think of in that moment was 'Why had this person told me?'. Had he not mentioned, I would have gone through the party happily. I could not figure if I was grateful or agitated at him for bringing it to my notice.

So, what is the right thing to do in such a situation? Just ignore and let the person discover their folly, giving them the solace that nobody noticed, or actually point it out, put them through temporary embarrassment and save them the sideways glances? I never know which one is right. I guess the comfort level with the person might direct my actions. So, my question is, what would you do in such a situation and what would you prefer people to do if you were on the receiving end? Do our answers change depending on who the person is? And should they change? Just some questions that linger on and bring on the larger issue of what is morally right may not always be socially appealing.

There are many situations like these when you are not sure of the other person's reaction. And although, you might want to step in their shoes, it is not always easy. Because every person is different, and every person handles embarrassing moments in unique ways. What, then is the acceptable protocol and is there even one?

As always, please take a moment to share any experiences or comments!

Harmonious Living: Empathy for animal life!

At the start of every movie, there is a disclaimer: "No animals were harmed while shooting this movie". And it makes me wonder if the disclaimer is there only because of the animal rights board or because of a conscientious crew. The chances of the first scenario are higher. There are very few people who actually care whether animals are hurt or not. There are few people who consider animals as equals, who deserve rights of their own. And although, the animal welfare board and animal rights commission have done a great job in increasing the awareness, it is just that: an awareness campaign. For something like preventing cruelty, it is empathy that is required. Awareness without empathy is like having a computer without the correct programmer. The computer will do what it is asked to, but if the programmer does not give the right direction, the computer can only perform pre-defined tasks. Similarly a society that runs in the fear of animal activists will do only what is required, but not think about what more can be done.

The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Acts can direct people to protect the integrity of animals, but these acts cannot make people empathize and sympathize with animals. This is where animal welfare organizations come in. They do work under the preamble designed according to the Acts, but they go the extra mile in sensitizing the society towards the animal race. It is extremely pivotal that sensitization occurs at a young age, when there are no inherent biases in the cultivable mind. These organizations conduct awareness programs, but also bring the society, especially children in close quarters of the animals, in an attempt to reduce their inhibitions of animal contact. These organizations believe in the motto: "Today's aware child is tomorrow's responsible citizen!". By doing so, an opportunity is presented for people to experience the trauma of being an abused animal. Occasions like these stimulate the emotion centers in the brain and floods the person with a wave of responsibility and pro-activity. Especially if children try to be gentle to animals, it is difficult for parents and adults to let their children down. And so, there is promotion of the principles of the organization.

A post-operative hit and run case. 

One such organization is the Nagpur SPCA. SPCA is the Society for Prevention of Cruelty towards Animals and has multiple branches across India and the world. These branches are affiliated to the original Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty towards Animals. I was born and brought up in Nagpur and thus, have witnessed the impactful work of Nagpur SPCA. The variety of ventures taken up by this society have been umpteen, ranging from releasing snakes from snake-charmers, tending for hit-and-run cases, rescuing wild animals, relief centers to tackle natural calamities (earthquake in Latur), running adoption campaigns for strays and many others. This society has not only worked for domesticated animals , but has ventured into the often unexplored realms of wildlife and has left no stone unturned in the attempt to preserve wildlife, at the same time, keeping citizens safe. 

A blind kitten being treated and housed at the animal shelter.

But, the most consequential problem that agitates the common man is of stray dogs, and that is one of the first things that needs to be tackled to generate empathy from people. If children are going to suffer from dog bites, contract infections from strays, nobody would ever want to work for the betterment of these animals. The Nagpur SPCA had realized this well ahead in time and accordingly, developed a long-term strategy to tackle with this ever-existent problem. These steps aim to uproot the main cause of disruption in the animal-human balance and create a more harmonious life for both races. 

It is important to realize that every issue has two sides to it. And as much as animal activists might want to promote the cause of animals, they have to acknowledge the fact that it cannot be at the cost of human life. It is this same thought that Nagpur SPCA has embedded in their task plan. If strays are inadvertently affecting the human population, the solution is not to send the animals to pounds and put an end to their life. f that were the case, every antisocial element in the society would be sentenced to death. We don't do that to people who behave like animals; then why the discrimination? Why not think logically and rise above barbarism? Why not think of animals as an indispensable part of the society? Once we do that, both races can thrive.

The solution suggested by Nagpur SPCA is to bring down the stray population and make them safe to be around. Strays do not crop up themselves. Most of the times, a stray locality is started by some dog owner no longer wanting to bear the responsibility and letting their dog out on the street. Once the dog is out, there is breeding and a litter of pups adds on to the stray population. If a few simple measures were adopted, the dog population would be cut down drastically and would present with a long term solution. But nobody wants to look at the big picture. People just want to take actions that will give them results then and there.

Stray puppies waiting to be adopted

It is creditable that this organization is trying to appease all members of the society by simple measures like Animal Birth Control (ABC) program, Anti-rabies vaccination for strays, Adoption campaigns, and  Awareness programs for the need to keep pets leashed. Under the ABC program, the organization plans to target different pockets of the city and procure as many strays in the area as possible, perform a castration surgery (sterilize the dogs), earmark the dogs for identification and release the dogs back to their locality. This method basically eliminates the chance of mating and prevents generation of fresh litter. It is also taken care that when the dogs are brought in, they are vaccinated against rabies (a fatal disease communicable to humans). At the same time, the organization is promoting adoption of stray pups, in a hope of reducing the stray numbers.

Strays peeking out of their rooms at the shelter.

Although, this is a rosy picture, the fact remains that all these ventures need a lot of infrastructure and money backing. The Municipal Corporation and government aid is able to support only so much; beyond a certain extent, the organization needs to rely on donations and external support. Support can be in any form: unwanted medicines, extra food, feeding bowls, etc. The local bakeries have been kind enough to provide SPCA with leftover crumbs rather than dispose them of. Sometimes, it is just a matter of knowing how to help. And if anybody would like to help, the administrators can be contacted for a visit to the animal shelter and hospital run by Nagpur SPCA, where the needs of the organization can be better gauged.

The measures adopted by SPCA have not only kept the menace of stray dogs at bay, it has also taken into account the existence of animals. They have not been fanatical about expecting people to take extreme measures for the protection of animals. Rational and feasible steps have been suggested. It is only for the community to take notice and contribute to a cause, which will, in the end, benefit the human race, without carrying the burden of bloodshed. This approach has been one of the hallmarks of this society and has helped in its successful establishment, presenting an acceptable image in the society. But, like all social causes, this needs financial support and emotional investment. A cause without emotional investment does not have ownership and without ownership, it is difficult to achieve goals. Goals that lead to the betterment of the society on the whole!

This blog post has been written for the National Social Venture Competition organized by iDiya.