America's Dilemma

Have you ever been the Class Monitor? Do you remember how much responsibility it entailed to contain the antics and to set an example for others to follow? At the same time, there were some who wouldn't completely agree with your actions and be conflicted by your decisions. Now, multiply that numerous times and think of a global monitor. That is where America has put itself into.

Everybody in this world has the question "Why does the American Government want to interfere with everybody's business?". And not just the rest of the world, American citizens themselves sometimes can't understand why their growth and development are put at risk to help some country out of a crisis. When I was part of the rest of the world, I could only think of one thing as to what made America want to mend everything world over. But now that I am around American people, I understand many things better. First, when the world says 'America' and disapproves of its decisions, it should be remembered that the American people are not always a part of it. Second, if they take a decision, there is a reason behind it; not that everybody would agree to the rationale.

It is so disheartening to know that America has lost so many young soldiers in the various deployments, and which to a certain extent, could have been avoided. Not that the countries that America was at war with, lost any less of their population. With these experiences and the outcry of the citizens against the involvement of America in any other wars kept the Government at bay from risking any more lives. But it didn't last long and now we see America at war again with Libya. Now if we look at how America got involved here, it is interesting that the actions were more out of peer pressure than from self-will.

What has happened is, the 'Allies' long back, were touted to take on disturbed nations and mend their ways. Over the years, as America gained power, it was the one major member of the Allies, that assumed the role of the self-appointed monitor. Now that they have done this for years and received contempt for it from different nations, they are trying to keep their hands clean off any more trouble. But what happens, when nations in crisis still look towards America for help? How are they to deny help to these nations in need, when they took on that responsibility years ago? Now they are in a fix, if they agree to help these nations, onlookers feel the interference unnecessary and if they don't, they get the tag of being 'insensitive' to the needs of the lesser developed countries. So what does a country like America do? Everybody is waiting for you to make a mistake and to lash out with a string of accusations. This is the toughest position to be in. And you have to think about your countrymen too.

And in a time, where America is witnessing one of its worst economic crisis, how would it justify to use the funds for anything else but for its own development? It is very easy to criticize each step of those in authority, but it is equally difficult to be in their shoes and understand why certain decisions are being made. There are numerous considerations and it is humanly impossible to make everyone happy. So you pick the best choice, according to you which honestly, might not be the right choice, according to many others.

Even with the recent situation in Libya, America refrained from getting involved for a long time, but what were they supposed to do, when the Libyan opposition leaders and the common man appealed to them for help? How long can you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to injustice, more so when you have earned a reputation of being a champion for the needy? I don't support the decision of bombing Libya, but I can see why America was compelled to do so. I can also see why some American people are against it. But what I can't understand is how most of the American citizens approve of these steps, even when they know that this could cost them a lot with respect to their development. I do not understand how and why 60% of the American population* would want to put a strange land and its citizens ahead of their own needs? It could be defined as an act of selflessness, where they are supporting humanitarian causes by overlooking the consequences. People think America doesn't care, but I have seen and heard the people here and I know they are effected by trouble in any country. And they have always shown their solidarity by sending in troops, rescue teams, paramedics and everything else possible. The problem is when the very thin line between concern and interference starts to vanish. That is what bothers the rest of the world. What should be done in this case; whether or not to continue extending help which might be perceived as interference? Maybe that is the 'dilemma' of all American people, to take pride in being the global monitor, or to give up the title, ignore global issues and look into its own development alone!!!

*http://www.worldnewsco.com/4922/poll-results-most-americans-support-military-action-in-libya/

How much attachment?

A lot of the times, I think about how the human brain works. When we talk about 'mind, body and soul', which part of us are we really referring to as 'mind'? Is it the heart, the brain or something in between? The reason I am thinking about all this is because I want to know which part is responsible for developing emotions and nurturing them. Is it your brain directing you, because science says all your thoughts come from your brain. And the heart really is an organ for pumping blood. So why is it called heartache, when we don't know where these feelings are stemming from?

I still do not know what brings these strong feelings on, but I can say that sometimes they are really overpowering and can control a lot of aspects of your life. Just recently, me and my husband started looking for new apartments to move in and believe me, we must have seen almost every apartment place in the area, which must be at least 50. We even went a little away from our focus and started dreaming of having a bigger home. But, no matter how good the apartment was or how reasonable the rent was, once we came back home to our little 'home', nothing looked good enough for it. We went through this hunt for over a month, yet to no avail. At that point, all we wished for was to have an apartment in the same complex. You see, we have a single bedroom apartment and we were wanting to move into a two-bedroom. And each day, we explored new options for other places, yet in our heart of hearts, we wished hard to get a two-bedroom in the same complex.

What we had not really given a thought then, was the fact that even if we did find a house in the same vicinity, would it erase the uneasiness of moving into a new place? As we would soon realize, it would definitely not. We were lucky enough to get a call from our apartment system a week back and they said there was something we should have a look at. We went over to the office and couldn't believe how lucky we had gotten. The apartment was a perfect match for us; it had the same view, was much bigger, had an extra window and was sun-facing, which I loved. There was nothing in there, not to love. We looked at the apartment and knew without even talking to each other, that both of us would want to move in to this apartment for sure. We could hardly contain our excitement and started thinking about moving into the new place.

But a weird thing happened that night. I could not sleep at all, and images of the house started flashing in my mind. My journey of doubt began, I was not sure if we really should move into the house and I urged to see the house again. As soon as I stepped into the house, I started finding faults and flaws with the house and was not very happy with the house. My husband seemed to be fine. And when I asked him what he thought about moving in, he thought it was the perfect apartment and we shouldn't miss the chance. Then what was wrong with me?

And then it struck me? All these days, there was really nothing wrong with any of the apartments we had seen. It was my attachment with our first house that kept pulling me back. You have to face the fact that no two houses can ever be exactly the same. Yet we kept modelling our search on our present home, which of course was futile. Even when we found the closest match to our home, I thought there was something wrong. And it is not like our home had exceptional features. Had it not been already selected for me by my husband, I might not even have liked it as much. But, right now I loved it. I loved even the weird little oddities which could seem as hindrances to some, like the icicles in our window. And all this would be missing in the new place. No wonder, the house felt alien to me!!!

So how much attachment is acceptable and when does it become unhealthy? Do you ignore other considerations and only think about your emotions? And why isn't the brain stopping you from taking these decisions? Now, every time I look at out home, I think of what we are going to miss in the new house. I want to soak it in as much as possible. And as the moving day nears, I have to make myself tougher. I know I am not the only one having to move, there are so many who have to change houses often. Then how do they do it? Maybe, I have issues with letting go. I had them when I first moved to America, I did not want to let go off India and my home there. And today I don't want to let go off my abode. People say it is a blessing to have emotional strings and it helps to express your real self. But this attachment pains me and gives me restless hours. It is now that I wish I was not so vulnerable, because change is inevitable.

The way I look at it, you have to find ways to channel your attachments in a healthy way to handle change. And you don't always have to make a clean cut, but have to learn to carry a part of it with you and collate it with your new endeavors. I know I will miss this house and the times spent here, but I can look forward to recreating those in the new house and make it a home. All along, we were looking at houses and hoping for them to be homes. But, what I did not realize was,  it is people who make a home, not windows, closets or bigger rooms. My husband said the sweetest thing to me the other day, when I was in tears over having the moving day so close. He kept telling me it was going to be okay and said "I am sure you would make the new house a wonderful home, just the way you did for this." That motivates me to move on and embark on the sweet challenges of setting up a new home and bringing life to it.

Driving Mania

Two days back, I stepped out of my break room for lunch, while at work and hoping to have a refreshing lunch with my husband, started walking towards the car.

A loud noise, as if a tire had burst; the sound of metal hitting and being shattered; the screeching sound of brakes and the sound of somebody being asked if they were alright, stopped me in my tracks. I was not prepared for what I saw next. It was a big truck overturned and tipped over, with its driver side hit really bad. There was a smashed car in the wrong lane, which stopped just in time to avoid the oncoming traffic. It was a split second in which all this happened and I could not wrap my mind around it. I thought I should maybe call 911, but I just froze. This was the first time I saw a crash so closely and it shook me.

But, there were others who were faster in their responses. And I saw a lady literally jump out of her car, with a cell phone in her hand, running to the tipped truck, and kept asking the driver if he was alright. I was listening to her intently and I heard "No" twice. I was scared and had goosebumps all over me. What would happen now, how serious were the injuries of the person, was he/she going to be alright? To answer all these questions and to take care of the situation, it was within a span of 5 minutes, that all the emergency vehicles arrived on the spot. The police, ambulance, fire engines, everybody was there. And yet they could not get the person out. To complicate issues, there was gasoline leaking out of the tank and had surrounded the vehicle. The impending task at hand was to take care of that, to prevent any chance of fire.

I could see the medics at work for almost 30 minutes, but the only thing that kept bothering me was the safety of the driver. What was the complication that so many people could not get him out? Lunch was over and I had not been able to eat too much. With a heavy heart, I went in, not knowing what would happen next, but hoping that the driver would be fine.

Noticing my pale face, my colleagues asked what was wrong and I narrated it to them. Although very consoling, they looked surprised that I was so badly affected by it. I kept telling them that it was my first time witnessing a crash. But, was it really true??? It is not like I hadn't seen accidents in India. So, what was it about this that brought tears to my eyes and scared me so much? After digging deep, I realized that all this while, I was under an illusion; as organized and well-kept America is, it could not be untouched by the perils of driving. After driving in the chaos of the Indian traffic, such regulated driving as in America led me to think of it as a perfect world.

But was it really perfect??? It couldn't be; nothing can ever be, which I think everyone will agree to. Something that puts humans in control of such large machines with high speeds, could never be safe and perfect. Because humans are designed to make mistakes, and it could be the tiniest mistake that could make this huge thing turn back on you. And to top it all, everything is like a high-speed chase.

It got me thinking; in India, there could be accidents, but they would not be so major. But, it is also a fact that help sometimes comes in so late, that the little accident becomes fatal. On the other hand, America has some of the fastest cars, some of the highest speed limits, and it would seem as nothing but inviting danger. Yet, the response time is so quick for emergency services, that someone could be saved from the jaws of death in the nick of time. So how do you chose the lesser of the two evils? Is it better to have numerous small accidents in your lifetime, one of which could cost you more? Or is it better to have one scary huge accident, but stand a chance of being saved?

I kept telling my friends, that it was better to be driving in India because it wasn't as scary. But was it true? The Indian driving scene is chaotic, everybody thinks as though they own the road, there is no concept of "right of way", everybody is always in a hurry and everyone wants to win the race, but it is forgotten that the roads are not even that good. There are bumps, potholes, and what not. Just because the speeds are not as high, driving becomes manageable and danger is kept at bay.

So, is driving in America scary, just because of the high speeds? Should the fact that the traffic here is more disciplined and the emergency services much better, be ignored? Weighing out both the options, I could only come to one conclusion. Driving, or for that matter, anything else in life is always going to have dangers. What matters is, if you are ready to take the risk and still be in control of the situation. And it is human to make a blunder, so we always have to be prepared for not just our own mistakes, but also take in account the mistakes others could make.

Driving has to be synergistic, otherwise it could only spell disaster, if everyone was to think only of their needs. And if we cannot be responsible enough to wisely enjoy luxuries, maybe we should go back to the times when the only way to reach destinations was by foot or on horse-back. I don't think there were any crashes back then. It would be a good time-out for irresponsible and reckless drivers. We should be made to realize that luxuries come with a pinch of salt, and only responsible people can make the best use of them. Think about it...