Superstition galore

This blog was published in the Times of India NRI section.

When Sachin Tendulkar completed his 100th century, entire India supposedly heaved a sigh of relief and like any other ardent cricket fan, believed that they had a contribution in Sachin's excellent track record for a career spanning two decades. It is normal for sportsmen to have lucky charms and wear them or have some superstitions they believe will make them perform better. But, isn't it a little strange that cricket fans are so much in love with the game that they think their actions could affect how their team performs? Of course, India is a country where cricket seems to be the ray of hope in an otherwise not such a sport-backed country. But, even in America, I have heard from friends about the things they would do to make their teams win, be it the Super Bowl or NBA Championships. What amazes me though, is the fact that, mot people refer to these anecdotes from the past, feeling nostalgic about it. Why is it that as we grow up, we stop following these superstitions?

Is it the fact that we are too grown up now, and understand that wearing the same T-shirt for every game your team plays is not practical? I mean, I remember wearing the same blue colored T-shirt for every World Cup game India played in 1999. And it is not that India won all the games in which I had worn the same T-shirt. They did lose one game, yet I found a reason to defend why the loss was because of something else and not the T-shirt. Now, World Cup advertising campaigns also rely heavily on people being superstitious and trying to support their team in some little way. If anybody remembers, we used to have the Pepsi Blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgP227fiE8A) and Clinic All Clear commercials, where you were supposed to drink Pepsi Blue  to get that India blue inside of you and were supposed to wash your hair with Clinic All Clear. And to add to that, they had the cheesy tagline "Dho Daala" (Rival team is washed away). Can you believe the shampoo was an anti-dandruff one, and it is just amazing how they could relate it to cricket. But, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I did believe, using Clinic All Clear would make the Team India win!

From my personal experience, I know I have stuck to my chair in the same position, not moving an inch, so that all the wickets would stay intact. I would prohibit my father from saying anything in favor of the Indian team or making comments which indicated that the Indian team would win. Just because a few times, when he said India would win, they lost. So, he couldn't say anything until we had actually and truly won the match! Now, when I think of it- could I have been any more childish? But, that is the conviction with which I believed  we could make a difference to our team winning or losing. Even in times, when our team was not doing well at all and had no chance of winning whatsoever, or even losing with some dignity. 

And span the camera to World Cup 2011, when we actually had a shot at winning the title. I couldn't see all the matches, I did not wear blue for all the match days, and I definitely did not sit in one position for the whole of the match. I was getting up constantly to get some work done, make lunch, take a call or something else. What was wrong that I did not feel like doing my bit for my team? For one, since my very favorite player  of all time, Saurav Ganguly had retired from cricket, I had kind of detached myself from cricket in protest. Just look at the intensity of my faith in him; as though me not watching cricket was going to do any good at all. But, that was my way of showing solidarity for a man, who according to me had been treated unjustly, but who would never know I even existed.

That aside, today, when I have a better understanding of worldly affairs, I no longer, believe that my actions or beliefs can have any effect on the performance of any team. Is it because I have grown up and have become sensible or is it because I have lost that passion, that zeal required to blindly follow your team, no matter what? The way I look at it, when we are younger, we are oblivious to the real world. Life and its multiple dimensions are unfathomable by us, and we live in an illusion. But this illusion is what makes us believe, have faith and be passionate about what we believe in.

Once we grow up, and face the harsh realities of life, our faith is crushed, the passion dies off and we are transformed into realistic and dull robots. We are so caught up with so many more relevant issues, the pressures of daily life, where we have to divert our energy, that we tend to ignore these petty issues. Like a lot of people say, "I would rather have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all". I would rather put my faith in some team, than not have faith at all. I would rather believe so strongly in something, that I think my beliefs will change things, than not believe in miracles at all. I would rather have that zest for life, than follow a monotonous routine where work is all that matters. I would rather enjoy life, being silly and following superstitions, than be serious and pragmatic to the extent that I no longer know what it felt like to be a child! I remember how bad it hurt to have lost so badly in the 2003 World Cup, when we had had such a wonderful run up to the finals. But, what I can't remember is when the last time was that I felt so strongly about something that the disappointment still brings up a lump in my throat.

I am sure there are a lot of people who still follow their favorite sport and favorite player, with that unshakable belief, and hats off to them for keeping the child within them alive. I am just hoping I can get over the fact that I will no longer see my hero, Saurav Ganguly on the field and will have to find someone else I can follow with as much as dedication! I am hoping I can go back to being so innocent and naive, that I can find life's little pleasures, without worrying about its intricacies  :)

Think about it! What would you want to bring back from your childhood days of innocence?


Some videos that will make cricket-lovers nostalgic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYcNu8v1-cM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJUYjV0JHvk

77SAE4NADVWP

Finding Friends

"Ansh, you are going to be four, what should we get you for your birthday? Do you want a car, or a ball, or our favorite: story books?"

"Papa, I have all of these things, I want something different. Why don't you get me a little puppy?"

"Ansh, you know, it is very difficult to take care of a puppy. You have to take the puppy for a walk, feed him, bathe him...Who will do all this?"

"But, you do all these things for me, and I am always well-fed, clean and happy. It does not seem to be that difficult!" said Ansh gleefully. "You have tried it on me, now I am sure, you will be very good with the puppy."

"Haha! Are you comparing yourself to a puppy?"

"Yes, how is it different? Like me, it needs food, loves to play, enjoys when people cuddle it and just wants to make lots of friends."

My brother, Ansh's father, started getting worried now. Ansh was about to get his way with his witty reasons, and a way had to be found to convince Ansh, with as much astuteness as possible. Ansh had grown up with books around, listening to stories of Birbal and Tenali Raman from his grandfather. It was then, no surprise that his mind had developed to be as quick-witted as Birbal.

Befuddled to find an appropriate reply, that would keep Ansh's demands at bay, his father said: "But, you see Ansh, you can talk and tell us what is wrong, you can tell us when you are hungry, when you want to play, when you want to sleep. With the puppy, how will you know what it wants? And without knowing, the poor puppy will be sad with us". Even while giving this explanation, my brother knew it was a very weak explanation, and he was just hoping that Ansh's silence meant that he agreed to what had been said.

Ansh came close to his father, and jumped up in his lap. As soon as Ansh positioned himself well enough, he said, "But, father, it was you who said, I could not speak when I was a little baby. You still could take good care of me, and always knew what I wanted. It will be same with the puppy, you and I will always know".

There went my brother's little excuse, and he knew he had run out of good reasons. He had nothing else but to say, "When I come back from work, we will talk with everyone else and then decide".

Hearing this, Ansh hugged his father and ran away in excitement, muttering something about thinking of names for the puppy. Ansh spent the rest of the day, thinking about things he would do, when the puppy would come home. He could play ball with the pup, he could run around the garden with it, he could feed it whatever he liked, and sometimes things that he didn't like too; he could listen to his grandfather's stories with the little puppy in his lap. There were so many things he wanted to do, he couldn't wait for the puppy to come home.

When his father came home, Ansh went rushing to him, held his hand and said "Let's talk! Everyone is ready".

Now, all this while Ansh's grandfather had been quietly listening to their conversation, and Ansh's demand for a puppy. He could understand why it was difficult to get a pet. Most of the day, there wasn't anybody at home. And taking care of the dog, would become impossible, leave aside, spending time with it. But, it was equally true that being around animals, would make Ansh more compassionate, understanding and responsible. So, a way had to be found to keep Ansh happy, at the same time, not create a burden.

"Ansh, come here son. I have something for you", said Ansh's grandfather. 

"How would you like, if you could have more than one dog as your pet, maybe even a cat?"

There were two distinct gasps in the room; one of horror from Ansh's father and one of disbelief from Ansh. 

"Father, what are you saying? It is going to be tough taking care of one dog, how can you think of more than one?"

"Oh Dadu, you are my favorite! When can I get my pets?"

Ansh's grandfather picked up Ansh, while hinting to his son not to worry. 

"It is your birthday tomorrow, so we will get up early and take you to a nice place; you can have your pets there."

Next morning, Ansh was up early with excitement. His family was waiting for him to wake up so that he could cut his cake. He loved anything that had chocolate in it, and his mother was sure Ansh would love the chocolate cake. When Ansh woke up, he cut the cake and tried to eat a lot of it in one bite, making a mess of his clothes and face. His family broke into laughter, and his mother picked him up to give him a bath.

As soon as Ansh was dressed up, he came running to his grandfather and tugged at his shirt to go out. Ansh, his father and grandfather started for this place, where he would get his birthday gift. Ansh kept asking questions as to how long it would take, what place was it. Once they reached there, Ansh could hear the barks, howls and meows of lots of dogs and cats. Listening to all the noises, Ansh asked, "How will I know which one to pick?".

Before anyone could answer, Ansh ran off trying to take a look at all the animals. There were cats, dogs, a donkey, some cows and a goat. It was an animal shelter, where animals could be adopted. Ansh's grandfather showed him how to fondle a dog, using the stroke of two fingers to massage the dog on its forehead. Ansh tried this on all the cats and dogs, and very soon had won their hearts. When Ansh had worn off his excitement, he came back to his grandfather, and said he couldn't decide which puppy to take home with him.

Ansh's grandfather, set him in his lap, and asked him why he wanted a pet. Pat came the reply, "So that I can have a friend to play with".

"So wouldn't it be nice if you could play with lots of friends, rather than just one or two?".

"Yes, yes....can we take home all of them?", excitedly blurted Ansh.

With a guffaw, Ansh's grandfather responded, "Our home would be too small for all of them, but their home would be large enough for you to come and visit them".

"See, if you just picked up one puppy, the others would feel sad, that their friend is going away. But, if you would play with them daily, they would have one more friend. Adding a friend is always more fun than loosing a friend."

Ansh pondered on the proposal and said, "I like the idea of having so many friends, but there is one problem".

"And what is that?"

"Dadu, I had thought of only one name, now you will have to help me find good names for all my friends".

Both Ansh's father and grandfather smiled at this and agreed to help him with finding names for all his new-found friends.

Ansh's grandfather spoke to the shelter authorities about helping out with the homeless animals, and they were thrilled to hear about this generous gesture. The shelter manager humbly mentioned, "We understand that a lot of the times, it isn't possible for people to provide a home for these animals, but even their time and effort makes a difference in the lives of these lovable animals".

To which, Ansh's grandfather replied, "Don't worry, it won't be too long, before we will be back here to adopt a dog. Our Ansh is too smart to be satisfied with this adjustment. He will see through it soon, and once he is old enough to take care of a pet, we would be more than willing to get him his own puppy. Until then, more the number of animals he can share his love with, more the joy on both sides."

Note: The above is a work of fiction and was written as part of a group blogging activity. The goal was to write a piece of fiction, based on the following prompts: a four year old kid, a food item, a finger, and a family member. 

Love is when!

Valentine's Day - a day of cliches, a day of heart-shaped things, a day for flowers, a day when everything is red and pink, a day to signify love. But, what really is love? Can love and its expression really be contained within just a day? It is something that occupies a large part of the heart and a large part of your life. How can you just expect it to last one day? And I have realized that nothing could be more wrong than the filmy portrayal of love. Here are some sides to it that have been completely misconstrued.

1. Love is not saying "I love you" 100 times a day

Wow!!! If someone really did that, I don't know how many of us could actually take it. A little too much of anything is hard to handle. Would it sound convincing every time, and would it still be as important? The bigger issue here is you don't always need words to show how you feel. There is nothing wrong about expressing your love in words. But, in real life, actions mean a lot more than words, sometimes. It is the small things of daily life that make a relationship special. Love is when, your partner knows you will be late from work, and is ready with dinner for you. It is knowing when one of you needs a coffee and a great talk about real things that matter. It is about sleeping through a movie, but still agreeing to watch it again, because your partner loves it. Love is when obsessive people, like me, panic over one lost spoon at 1 a.m. and when my husband still calms me down and helps me look for it.

2. Love is not just about you and me

It is the fault of rosy love stories that people believe their love is independent of external factors. It is not just about the two people. It is about her family, his family, her friends, his friends, her workplace, his workplace. No matter how good the two people are with each other, these factors play an important part. Love is when, you can understand the difference, identify the importance of these factors in each other's lives, and still be there for each other. From just you and me, it soon transforms into one huge, intertwined family, where every issue becomes not mine, not yours, but ours. Love is when, your partner becomes your strength to handle these pressures; it is also when you start appreciating the support of your partner.

3. Love is not looking into each other's eyes for hours

In real life, when you have ten agendas on your mind, nobody spends hours looking into each other's eyes. Again, a false illusion propagated by unrealistic cinema, there is no such thing as "losing oneself in the other person's eyes". What is more true, is looking into the other person's eyes and knowing what they are thinking. Once you have been with a person long enough, you know the eyes are a mirror of their thoughts. Love is when you can see the dreams in your partner's eyes and be a part of them. It is when you can go beyond the eyes and share thoughts and plans. It is that beautiful moment when planning every little action becomes a wonderful moment of togetherness.

4. Love is not about 'not having to say sorry'

This really needs to be cleared up. Whoever said that love does not require saying sorry or thank you was so so wrong. Like any other normal relationship, there is real hurt and real feelings involved, unlike the magical feelings that never get hurt in story books and movies. Being with a person all the time, there are bound to be times when you are insensitive and mean. That cannot be avoided and neither does it mean there is no love. Because love is about realizing that your actions hurt the other person, and being sorry for it. Love is when you set aside your ego, and admit your mistakes. It is when you make that extra effort to convey your guilt and to set things right.

5. Love is not the sound of sweet words

Now, if anybody were to listen outside the door of a married couple, there might be times when you hear such words that you would take them to be nothing but enemies. Love is not about sweet-nothings and pleasant words all the time. It is a real world, with real-life tensions and annoyances. So, it is natural to have outbursts once in a while. Love is when you can ignore that and laugh at it later on. It is when you can accept the silliness of fighting over things that are insignificant. It is when you can see that yelling at complete strangers is not an option, so getting annoyed with your closest confidante is what you are left with. It is when you feel comfortable being your partner's punching bag.

6. Love is not about going overboard

Like it happens on Valentine's Day, it is not about getting expensive gifts, giant size teddy bears, balloons and flashy stuff. Although, I will admit that most girls, including me, are suckers for flowers and chocolates; it feels good once in a while, but the fact remains, that a teddy bear and flowers cannot replace a real person. Heart-shaped balloons cannot give you what a hug does. Sometimes, a reassuring hug is all you need. Love is when you find solace in holding your partner's hand. It is when the warmth fills you with happiness that no flower could bring. It is the sweetness that comes with the calming words of your partner, that no chocolate factory has yet managed to forge into a chocolate.

7. Love is not about spending every single moment with each other

Okay, this one, it is actually the opposite. The more time you spend together, more the chances of getting on each other's nerves :) It is very important that both partners spend some time apart and have some 'me' time. If you are fulfilled within, it is more likely that you will spend quality time with your partner. Love is not about tagging along with your partner everywhere. Love is when you can find happiness even if you are together for a little while. It could just be a phone call to check how your partner is doing. It is when at the end of a tiring work day, you can still cuddle up and watch your favorite TV show. It is when you can share so many stories, even as both of you are trying to make a decent dinner. It is when at the end of the day, you can appreciate the other person, for who they are!

For so many dull and boring, but sweet moments, one day is not enough. You need a lifetime of celebration to be able to enjoy these little joys. Those small acts of love, that show how much you care. The Everyday kind of Love is when you can see these joys, cherish them and acknowledge the efforts of the one who gives you this joy, every day, for years!

You might also like:
Tacit Moments!
Cookie bags and much more!!!